Black Dogs - A Book Review

Black Dogs is the perfect novel for when you're bored at the airport. It can easily be read in a bored afternoon, and it is incredibly easy to digest. However, the book sacrificed a lot for these qualities: thrilling prose, dynamic characters, exciting plot twists, etc. These traits could’ve made Black Dogs engaging and fun, yet would it be the same piece of young adult fiction posing as historical fluff that you instantly forget about after reading it? The short answer: No, it wouldn’t.

The long answer, however, is a little more complicated. The book sounds great on paper. The story follows a group of urban Baltimore punks who want to become big time thieves. The protagonist, Patrick, comes up with the idea to steal money from Led Zeppelin (the book takes place in 1973), which leads the band of hooligans to go off on a wacky quest that involves Christian biker gangs, robbing pawn shops, and even Jimmy Page himself! Sounds pretty cool, right?

So why isn’t this book cool, or even interesting? Well for starters, the characters are all boring and two-dimensional. Jason Buhrmester, the book’s author, gives each character just enough detail to help the reader visualize them. However, after the first few chapters Buhrmester seems to abandon character development altogether, making his characters turn into soulless humanoid tools used only to further the plot. For instance, instead of giving the reader an explanation on why the protagonist is so hell-bent on becoming a thief through characterization, Buhrmester just tells the reader that Patrick is a Black Sabbath fan and from there makes the reader guess everything else about Patrick. This is what the author does with every character, making the reader not care at all about anyone in the story.

Yet it is the story that drives this novel, which is apparent as soon as the plot begins to unfold. Buhrmester fills each chapter with the needed plot devices to make the story go at an incredibly fast pace, but he never takes a break to reflect on the story or it’s characters. This flaw could be looked over if the plot itself had exhilarating twists and turns. However, like the characters, the plot remains flat and monotonous, making the concept collapse under Buhrmester’s boring story. These factors not only make the reader feel detached from the story, but they also make you wonder if Buhrmester even cared about what he was writing. As you whip through the book, you can almost picture the author writing the novel as fast as he could so that no one would take his “cool” concept.

As “cool” as the concept of seventies historical fiction sounds, the rapid pace and uninspired prose makes the book seem more suited for a high school book fair instead of a Barnes and Noble. The writing is just that fluffy and amateurish. These flaws may make the book a lackluster product, but they also make Buhrmester’s creation into the best damn book to have when you’re bored at the airport. Why? The short answer: Because Black Dogs is a waste of time.